Well I finally started my chemo treatments on Tuesday (5/5/15). I didn't want to wait any longer. I didn't want to wait a week to have my port put in. I just wanted to get started and I was happy to be able to have my treatments here in Logan. So at 9:00 in the morning I show up just a little nervous. Wondering how my body is going to react to these chemicals. Wondering if I will be strong enough to endure to process.
The staff at Dr. Ben-Jacobs office are great. The nurses take me in and give me my IV for the drip. My treatment is called dose dense MVAV. On my first day I only will receive the M (Methotrexate) with hydration. This takes about 3 hrs. to drip into my body. I leave and I can't believe that I feel just fine. I go back to work and at the end of the day I still feel well enough to take my 4 mi. walk.
On Wednesday I start at 9:30. This is the heavy day. I receive V, A, and C (Vinblastine, Doxorubicin, and Cisplatin) with hydration. This is a long day and takes about 6 hrs. of sitting watching the drips go in. When I leave I am surprised that I feel pretty good. I go back to work and attend a meeting at night. I have to admit that I was starting to feel a little cocky. I'm thinking this chemo stuff isn't going to affect me like it does everyone else. Wrong. That night in bed it started. Upset stomach, gagging, nausea kicked in. I came downstairs and choose one of the three nausea pills and hoped for the best. Somehow I fell back to sleep.
On Thursday I need to go in and get a shot of Neulasta. A drug to help with your white blood cell count and help you from getting an infection. The trick with this is they gave me pills that I am supposed to take of morning of and for 2 days after. Not sure why, but I forgot to take them in the morning. I took them at noon and had the shot at 2:00.
And now it's Friday night and I am still waiting to try to feel normal again. My nausea isn't severe. I'm not throwing up like some do. I can eat a little at meals and keep it down. To be honest the best way I can describe how I feel is I have a constant hangover. Now it's been a real long time since I've had a hangover, but I do remember that feeling. My stomach is queasy and unsettled. I feel like I could barf, but I don't. My head is numb and I don't have a lot of energy. I guess if this is as bad as it gets, I should be grateful. I have heard stories of worse reactions. But still I wish I could just feel normal.
I think feeling normal is a phrase I've been using lately. As I continue in my treatment, I think I know that there will never be that old normal again. I will have to discover what a new normal means and I hope I have the courage to make that discovery the best possible.
Good night for now.
